How can we truly be present in the “now”. When you reflect back upon your day and it was spent with your child, can you recall many of the occurrences that took place? What do you recall? The answer to these questions will help you to realize how present you really are in the “now”. What does that mean exactly? It means that your thoughts are fluid, calm and present with what you are doing. If you are dreaming about the past or the future, you are not in the present. As I bring you to this self awareness, it is not to judge or imply that the other states of being are incorrect. When we realize that being present is something to achieve as much as possible, the knowledge of not being there can be laden with guilt. I for one am no stranger to that.
I began a spiritual seeking journey while in the midst of being a new mother. As I progressed in getting to know the unseen part of myself, I immediately came across the understanding of how important it was to be in the Now moment. In fact, it was the only “real” time frame that was actually occurring. The past was already gone and the future was yet to happen; this made perfect sense. In an effort to intellectualize the practice of meditation and being in the “now”, the mere idea of these things helped to sustain a drive for to overcome the things of the past that had tied me down my whole life. (I was one who spent more time in memory) That is not to say that it was easy. I struggled to get past still being a product of my parents. It took a couple of years to simply let them just be who they were, flaws and all. Even though I thought I had let go of all that and could easily tell someone else how to release their parents of the roll of responsibility, it took a pivotal phrase for me to finally see. Someone said, “They could only be the totality of who they are, for the time they were born into”. After stewing with this for a while, I finally got it! It was myself that was wanting them to change, and it was me who needed the change (of perspective), to overcome what was going on in my head. I wanted their acceptance and was with holding mine because they did the best they knew how.
From a very young age, there is a battle that goes on until the child becomes an adult; and I am not talking 18; it can be more like 30 and up! For some it is easier than others, depending on the individual and the life experience they came to live. This struggle is between the truth of the child and that of those around them. A child's truth is unique to them. Yet because we have looked to our elders for wisdom in the past, some of us unconsciously tend to continue this tradition. So we place our opinions and suggestive beliefs on a child, telling them how life is and how to be. It is different today, parents and caretakers are becoming more conscious and respectful of children and their actual needs. We must keep in mind that what has worked for us may conflict with who they came here to be.
We have to practice more allowing and less control, something I am sure many wanted less of when they were young. So what if a 6 year old wants to walk around sucking on a bottle. I did it when I was older than that. It didn't last and it was for the fun and self fulfillment ( I never had one when I was nursing). I was lucky to have a mother that wasn't embarrassed, and tried her best to honor the independence she nurtured. We have to question what we are trying to accomplish, rather than try to reason with why they are acting in such a way. To become childlike, will remind you of the beauty, freedom and imagination of endless possibilities, that is available to everyone. Lighten up and live! Be positive and create a world you want to live in. The longer we spend time living in the past and doubting about our future based on what we see now, the longer it will take to bring into manifestation a world where everyone honors our connection to each other.
Take the time to get on your child's level, both physically and mentally. You will be surprised at what you find and become inspired by. Connect with them on a soul level. We are here to enjoy life, not control it. Remember to “Live, Laugh and LOVE!” What an important way to make your day HVL.
Ami Fountain
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